In Loving Memory...

Why is it that only a near death experience, or the sudden loss of a loved one makes us realise how truly short and valuable life is?

I’m beginning to think that perhaps there’s some kind of curse on me when it comes to losing people I care about. It’s not so much the fact that they pass on, this is a fact of life I accept, but somehow I always seem to ‘miss out’ on either their last moments, or the opportunity to say my final good byes before they are laid to rest, or their ashes are scattered in wind…

I recently learnt (a week ago) that a very dear friend had died in a car accident. My horror comes from having ‘discovered’ this through a random ‘Google’ search for totally unrelated matter… I must have read the article at least 50 times before I realized exactly what it was implying! Of course after a sleepless night I frantically set out to find the journalist the next morning to establish the date of the posting, since there was none on the site, and this is when I confirmed it was indeed him, and learnt that it happened over a year ago!!!

Marco Calore entered my life in the early 90’s, during my most challenging times (I was a recently divorced, single mom, recovering from an abusive marriage) and he became my best friend, my pillar of strength… and the wind beneath my wings! He was a remarkable human being, who taught me so much about life, about tolerance, humility and true compassion, and for years we were inseparable… like ‘Will & Grace’, except my Will wasn’t gay… ;-) and then we grew up, I moved away, and life got in the way…

As you can imagine when I received the news of his untimely death, I was filled with all kinds of emotions, but the profound sadness was overtaken by anger at not being informed. I introduced his wife to him, and although we had not been in contact for years, I had spoken to him occasionally, and am not the most difficult person to find? But I have made peace with it now, and recognize the pain of her loss, and pray for the best for her and their beautiful young son.

The Lesson?

What I have learnt from this experience is that this is the third close friend that I have lost in two years, and whose death I was left to mourn on my own… I have now decided that I don’t want to experience this again, and am now on a mission to find all my ‘lost friends’… and with the help of my Blog and Facebook, they'll stay a part of my life… This is my dedication to two very wonderful men, who have greatly contributed to my life...

To those I’ve loved and lost... In loving memory of Marco Calore & Joe Ndlovu

You were chosen to go before me, and this makes my heart weep,
But the memories that I cherish of you, I know I’ll always get to keep.

On the day I heard that you were gone, I cried at every thought that went by, My biggest regret is that I never said, "Good-Bye"…

But in my heart I know, that you are watching over us, and When I close my eyes, you're still there…

in the silence I hear your voice, In the cool ocean breeze, I sense your presence, and know this was Her choice,

For God has taken you from us to keep Her company… But in my heart you will, forever be…

Farewell my friends, and may your souls rest in peace…